What reeks?

No, not Sidney Crosby...but I'lll bet his hockey bag does.

So do my sons' hockey bags.

So does the truck I haul them around in.

Here's how I knows:

I went to get my oil changed today at my favey fave mechanic shop up the street.

The guys there are salt-of-the-earth. Total grease monkeys with big hearts and filthy hands.

I adore them.

They take really good care of me and I trust them implicitly. So when they tell me my truck smells like ass, I believe them. The thing is, they told me by not telling me. That's how bad it was.

Here's how I learned the truth:

They changed my oil and when they were through, they pulled the truck up to the front door of the service station like the brute-gentlemen they are : ) But when I got in, the window was open. Not a big deal except that it was freezing outside. I was like "Hm. That's weird." So I shut the window and BAM!

The stench hit me like the butt end of a stick to the olafactories.

HURL!

I never park my truck in my garage so my boys' hockey gear can't really thaw out unless I drag it into the house for an overnight drying and prayer vigil for my basement's recovery.

But both their seasons ended this weekend and I haven't taken their equipment out of my truck since. I guess that toasty hour in the mechanics garage was all those evil spores needed to wake up and insult even the most masculine of senses. (And these guys go around smelling like Slim Jim's and dirt all day long. If it was too much for them, it was bad.)

Mind you, my oldest son's bag is filled with only one season of hockey heinousness, but my youngest son's bag is filled with goalie equipment that has been handed down from season to season, kid to kid, and like my brother astutely remarked, "Eew it's like an all-body-bowling-shoe!" Yeah. Hand-me-down ass is even worse than regular ass.

I was so embarrassed I wanted to die. But I was also feeling slightly faint because of my own retching and convulsing. So I unwisely drove home instead of apologizing to the shop guys, who I'm sure have forgotten how cute my dimples are, and will now only see cartoon stink squiggles every time they look at me.

: (

I'm glad it's almost baseball season.

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