Is this bad?

Looks like I need a new washing machine.

I thought about going to Sears because it seems like a cute 1950's thing to do. Then I thought about Warner's Stellian since it's a local place. Then I thought about Craig's List to check out some sweet prices. Then I thought about some creepy weirdo who meant something else by "washing machine" and I decided to get a rusty washboard instead.

If I have a meeting with you before I figure this out, you might want to get a scented candle.

No. That's not really my washing machine. That's the washing machine that my washing machine beat up.

Copyright © Lynda Crotty Radio, Inc.

Broccoli Worm Update

So, if you read my popular first post (evidenced by the number of followers I have - look to the left) I found a huge-normous worm in my broccoli on Sunday. Here's what happened next:

I brought my broccoli back to Whole Foods yesterday and calmly told the girl at the Customer Service counter about the worm. She shuddered and then I did too and as we were doing the girly-skeezed out-worm dance, the Produce guy came up and asked what the fuss was about. We both told him about the worm and he looked at us like we were the biggest wha-wha babies he'd ever met.

Then he said that worms in broccoli were totally normal and all I had to do was submerge the broccoli in water, drowning the worms, which would then float to the surface and I could happily eat my worm-free broccoli. (Faint. Hurl. Faint again.) Is it just me or do intentionally drowned broccoli worms bug you more than regular broccoli worms?

Anyway, I'm gonna do it because I'd rather eat worms than pesticide. That's not true, I'd rather not eat either but worms are the lesser of those two evils for me. It's like that joke boys used to tell girls in grade school. "Would you rather slide down a razor blade or kiss a rabbit between the ears?" Of course the girls said, "Kiss a rabbit between the ears." And then the boy would promptly pull his pockets inside out of his pants. Get it? I haven't kissed a rabbit since.

I digress. The moral? Whole Foods is still awesome. Worms are gross. (But normal.) Broccoli is good. Don't kiss rabbits.

Copyright © Lynda Crotty Radio, Inc.

My first post!

Why is this my first post?

A.) Because I'm terrified of blogging. B.) Because I finally found something blog-worthy. C.) Because I don't feel like tidying up the house, so I'm using this as an excuse to avoid it.

But CHECK THIS OUT! That thing to the left. That worm (or larvae of a white butterfly...I looked it up.) was in my broccoli tonight! I swear. I made some awesome chili and from-scratch corn muffins today, (holla') and in lieu of a salad, I simply rinsed some fresh broccoli and added it to the table (along with some yummy organic dip.)

Well, out of nowhere my youngest son screams, "Worm!" I was ready to scold him because he and his brother are forever trying to get out of eating what I perceive to be a delicious dinner when I realized THERE WAS A FRIGGIN' GREEN WORM IN MY FRIGGIN' BROCCOLI!!!

We all started screaming and flailing and soon the worm was too. I took the little intruder outside (because my friend Steph would kill me if I killed it.) Then decided it was a fluke, just the one worm, and we'd all just need to shutup and finish dinner. That's when I found the worm's brother on my kitchen floor, just beneath my cutting board where the rest of the broccoli sat.

I gasped, but didn't tell the kids. I just tweaked my way back to the table and shamed them for being such babies. Tomorrow I'm going to tweak my way to Whole Foods, where I purchased said broccoli, and shame them for freaking me out.

Yes, if you know me, you know that I am a huge hypocrite because I'm all up in everyone's grill about organic this and broccoli that, but that was 2010 BTFW. (Before The F-ing Worm.) I may just go back to Twinkies. Yeah. I said it.

Thanks for reading my first blog. Don't eat your vegetables.

Copyright © Lynda Crotty Radio, Inc.