So I'm reading the latest on Charlie Sheen this morning and although I don't have anything to say about his slam on AA or his ability to convince his ex-wives to join his porn star possee, or his imaginary HBO show, I do have something to say about his silver tongue.While regaling the Alex Jones radio show audience with a cracked-out rant a couple of days ago, he used a word that we must bring back to American slang.
Turd.
It's just so awesome!
It diffuses, entertains, cajoles and even calms in a way no other word can.
Watch.
"Honey, is that a turd in your salad?"
Hahahahaha!!!!
Fine. Maybe it's just me.
So Charlie was blathering on about his greatness and wealth and "healing" like so...
“I’m not fair game. I’m not a soft target. It’s over. There’s a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins.”
"I’m sorry man, I got magic and I’ve got poetry in my fingertips, you know, most of the time, and this includes naps. I’m an F-18, bro."
“The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning.”
“If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently.”
Um. Okay.
But then, after all that crazy, freaky verbal gymnastics, he responds to a question about the creator of Two And A Half Men by saying:
"He's a turd."
A turd? It's so fourth grade. So silly. So harmless. And the smartest thing he said all day. (Not in reference to the creator of the show. I don't know him and I'm sure he's lovely.) But that one little word brought him from nuts to normal (and back again) in one second.
And I think we should use the word far more often.
Check it out:
"With all due respect, Mr. President. I think you're being a turd."
"In closing, your honor, I would like to say that if you find the defendant "guilty" you are a turd."
"And he's safe at home plate! The Twins win the World Series. Man, that Yankees catcher must feel like a real turd."
Okay, it clearly doesn't take much to entertain me.
But it takes A LOT to entertain Charlie Sheen. (Not booze or drugs, though.) Noooo. He's cured.
So Charlie was blathering on about his greatness and wealth and "healing" like so...
“I’m not fair game. I’m not a soft target. It’s over. There’s a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins.”
"I’m sorry man, I got magic and I’ve got poetry in my fingertips, you know, most of the time, and this includes naps. I’m an F-18, bro."
“The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning.”
“If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently.”
Um. Okay.
But then, after all that crazy, freaky verbal gymnastics, he responds to a question about the creator of Two And A Half Men by saying:
"He's a turd."
A turd? It's so fourth grade. So silly. So harmless. And the smartest thing he said all day. (Not in reference to the creator of the show. I don't know him and I'm sure he's lovely.) But that one little word brought him from nuts to normal (and back again) in one second.
And I think we should use the word far more often.
Check it out:
"With all due respect, Mr. President. I think you're being a turd."
"In closing, your honor, I would like to say that if you find the defendant "guilty" you are a turd."
"And he's safe at home plate! The Twins win the World Series. Man, that Yankees catcher must feel like a real turd."
Okay, it clearly doesn't take much to entertain me.
But it takes A LOT to entertain Charlie Sheen. (Not booze or drugs, though.) Noooo. He's cured.
And he is also a turd.
Here is one of the eleventy million links to his turdness: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1360488/Charlie-Sheen-rant-Two-And-A-Half-Men-halted-bizarre-radio-outburst.html#ixzz1F04teLQO
Here is one of the eleventy million links to his turdness: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1360488/Charlie-Sheen-rant-Two-And-A-Half-Men-halted-bizarre-radio-outburst.html#ixzz1F04teLQO
Copyright © Lynda Crotty Radio, Inc
No comments:
Post a Comment