Is your doctor a ding dong?

Like my brother says, "They can't all graduate at the top of their class."

Word.

Am I just jealous of doctors because I want to be a doctor? Yes, but that's beside the point.

And I should clarify:

I am not jealous of ALL doctors. I like the smart, cool forward-thinking kind. The big-picture doctors who ask questions and light up when you give them an answer because they're fascinated by science, not by themselves. I love doctors who dig for new information because they sense there is more to learn as opposed to the doctors who blindly regurgitate the stuff they were fed in medical school.

Speaking of regurgitating, let me introduce you to a couple of the doctors I don't care for...the ding dongs to which I referred in the title of this post.

Dr.'s Jamie Kaufman and Jordan Stern, authors of Dropping Acid: The Reflux Diet Cookbook and Cure.

I just saw a feature on their work at Health.com entitled 13 Foods That Reduce Acid Reflux.

http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20440834,00.html

It gave me heartburn.

Now unless I missed the full title of the feature and it's actually called "13 Foods That Reduce Acid Reflux OR Make You Pee Out Of Your A$$", they're ding dongs.

I better go double-check real quick.

I'm back. They're ding dongs.

See, after suffering with acid reflux for years, I know which foods to avoid, but I'm not sure Dr.'s Kaufman and Stern do. If I ate some of the 13 things they recommend to avoid reflux, it would be a very unlucky 13 indeed.

For example, things like Oatmeal and Couscous (first and last on their list) would make me quite an unwelcome dinner companion. Because, like many who are prone to acid reflux, I am gluten-intolerant, making things like Oats and Wheat (contained in Oatmeal and Couscous) big no-nos.

But Lynda, not everyone is gluten intolerant.

Really? The protein in our wheat supply is 50% bigger than it was in the 1950's, (we messed with nature)making it difficult for everyone to digest, not just those with Celiac disease, not just those with wheat allergies and not just those with gluten-intolerance. Everyone. So if you're experiencing reflux, gluten is a likely culprit.

But if it's not bad enough that the Dr.'s Doi tout some of the very things that cause reflux, they also pull on their leg warmers, krimp their hair and get all 80's by dragging around the low fat craze and recommending things like stripping the skin off chicken and avoiding "high fat" salad dressings. But there is no warning to watch out for those dressings containing wheat or MSG or processed oils. (Some of the stuff that causes negative GI reactions.) And although they recommend broccoli, which is great, they neglect to recommend cooking the broccoli, which helps those with sensitive systems digest it.

Admittedly, I didn't read the book, just the Health.com feature, and maybe they touch on food intolerance in Dropping Acid, but if I were a doctor, which I'm not (MLEH...that's me sticking my tongue out.) I would make sure my footnotes were everywhere my work was published, because one of the good things doctors learn in medical school is "first do no harm."

I wish the reflux docs had regurgitated that.

Unfortunately, for those who of you who have reflux, I think the only way to avoid harm with this book, is to use it as a step stool to reach a better book.

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