CNN.com reported Tuesday that a couple of real, live pirates were recently sentenced to 439 years of prison each. (Yep, you read that right.)
Ooh, that judge must have been mad. (Read sing-songy like a street-wise girl making that wobbly-headed gesture.)
Maybe they are animated Disney pirates? How else could they live long enough to serve that sentence?
Or
Maybe the judge was so miffed he just completely tweaked out and threatened them with something that would never actually happen.
Kinda like when you were in high school and your parents did the old, "YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR A MONTH!" Then two days later they were so sick of your stupid face they called your 21 year old boyfriend to come pick up their 15 year old daughter. (Or some random scenario that never happened to me.)
Anyway, back to the pirates. I can just hear the sentencing:
JUDGE: So let's see, you guys hijacked a Spanish fishing boat and held 36 sailors hostage for 47 days? What the (BLEEP) is wrong with you? I suppose there was drinking...and girls too...and who was driving the boat, may I ask? Forget it. I don't even want to know. You make me sick. Why, I have half a mind to put you in prison forever. Oh, don't you look at me like that. You wanna be a big shot? Fine. You can just think about what you did in the joint for...for...for...439 years! Yes, I'm serious! And no phone!
However...
However...
Turns out the maximum they'll serve is 30 years. (Maximum, so like 2 years.)
Told ya'.
Told ya'.
And I bet they will totally get to go to prom.
Check out the story here.
http://www.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/europe/05/03/spain.pirates.convicted/index.html
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