Superstar!

Okay, this may not be your idea of an amazing feat but it's my K2.

So I have this creepy closet in my basement. A closet that, unbeknownst to me, is actually something called a "well room." Well room's are typically in homes built before the 50's. They hold a well that has been capped off because it no longer serves it's original purpose, which I think was to provide water for the home. I don't know exactly. I can't find squat about it online. All I know is this:

DON'T USE YOUR WELL ROOM FOR STORAGE!

It's not a regular closet. It's not a closet at all. It's a room that serves no purpose. It gets freezing in the winter (especially if you live in Minnesota) and then when the weather warms up, the condensation from the chill causes wetness and also grossness. (Scientifically speaking.) Wetness makes things moldy if they are made of natural materials like paper or cotton or leather or whatever.

My daughter put some boxes filled with books and photos and stuff in there. Someone stuck a toddler bed and a dog kennel in there too. The guy who sold us the house stuck a butt load of paint cans and huge buckets of spackle or some shiz in there. And there was a huge metal shelf in there too.

I put nothing in there.

I never went anywhere near that skanky closet. I only know what was in there now because last week I finally opened the closet door after 10 years in this house. (Insert girly scream here.) Oh, I might dress like a tomboy and talk like a truck driver and have thighs that could snap your neck but when it comes to drippy closets full of moldy weirdness and spiders, I'm all girl. Pink and dainty and a huge fraidy cat.

Until today.

I had to clean the thing out because I'm having the carpeting cleaned in my basement next week and the mold detection dude's I called to "take care" of my mold problem told me I didn't really have a mold problem, just moldy stuff that I should get out of there before it got worse and definitely before I had the carpeting cleaned. Something I didn't need to pay them to do (yay!) because I could do it myself (frig!)

I walked around for three days opening and closing that closet door super fast to try and get acquainted with the job. I made retching noises off and on for a couple days which gave way to out-loud-pouting and at last one big exclamation of FINE! I stomped into Ace Hardware with a bratty teenage chip on my shoulder and told the nice sales guy what I needed like he was my mean stepdad who was making me clean the closet or he'd put his cigarette out on my arm. I bought a face mask, some cleaning supplies and a tarp...and also a razor blade in case I decided to end it all.

Then I went home and did seven other things to avoid going into the basement and by the time it was dark, I was ready. I went into that damn closet like Russell Crowe in Gladiator. Slashing, shoving, throwing, sweating, screaming, cursing. And just 2 hours later, the bit*h was spic and freakin' span. It sucked but not that bad (Although I did see a centipede skeleton at one point. No lie.) I am so relieved to have this behind me and so proud of myself that I just had to tell the world...or the handful of people who read my blog.

So that's what I did with my Saturday. What did you wussies do?

Copyright © Lynda Crotty Radio, Inc.